One of the hats I wear is Co-coordinator of our local MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) chapter. I received my MomSense magazine from MOPS in the mail today. I must admit, I don’t always read it, but today the cover grabbed my attention. As the Director of Group Life, any article titled “Risk Going Deeper in Relationships” grabs my attention. I’m a connector. It’s what I love to do. I love connecting with people and I get especially happy when I can connect two other people together.
I’ve been working recently with one of our graphic designers (also my co-coordinator at MOPS and friend) to put together the logo for Group Life at CCV. She’s done a great job of capturing exactly what I tried to explain. I told her I love the idea of water, that it symbolizes life, baptism and the idea of taking the risk and diving into unknown territories. She came up with something great. The tag line we decided on is “take the plunge.” That’s why I became even more interested in reading the “Diving Deeper” article. The description of the article read, “Take the plunge with a friend and build a closer tie.” I couldn’t wait to read it. I didn’t. I immediately sat down and opened up the magazine.
The article relates scuba diving to friendship. Here’s an excerpt:
“Sometimes we get caught in the shallows, and the surge of the surface waves brush us to and fro, separating us from our dive partners. Or we risk going a little deeper, but the tangles of a seaweed forest or even a shark distract us, and our partner disappears. A little farther down and a strong tidal current might threaten to pull us apart. Yet it’s only down deep, side-by-side, that thing are a little less trouble-some. There the waves feel like a gentle push and pull. And you can see the sharks and seaweed, but they’re distant and not so alarming. Precious few of our friends manage to dive deeper with us – to explore our world side-by-side. Although women are relational beings, we often let our principal relationships slide when we have kids. Or, in the process of building our families, we end up moving to a new home, neighborhood or city and find we have to start all over again – and we haven’t moved deeper on the rope. While we can rely on our husbands, family and God to help fill the gap, special friendships – what I call ‘heart friends’ – are vital to us too. After I spoke about friendship recently, a young woman told me, ‘I don’t think I can make good friends. No one ‘fits’ with me. ’ I understood her dilemma. Those heart friendships take a long time to build; they’re serious investments of time, emotion, trust and experience. But if we’re having trouble making and keeping friends, it might be time to take an honest look at ourselves. Is there some issue that needs to be resolved that’s interfering? Dare to ask yourself, What’s holding me back? Am I someone I’d want to befriend? Am I too snide? Irritable? Angry? Pessimistic? Am I honestly open to a deeper friendship? Maybe you are open and in a good place to form a friendship – but you can’t seem to find anyone who might eventually hit that ‘heart friend’ status. Here are seven notches to the Divin Deeper rope:
Risk Stepping out. So many women are afraid to even try reaching out to others.
Invest the time. If you want to get closer to someone, you have to make the time.
Wrestle over big ideas. Talk over stuff that forces you deeper.
Share experiences. Attend retreats, family/neighborhood gatherings, city parades, whatever!
Seek wisdom and advice. Find out what your friend would do in your situation.
Laugh…and cry. Dare to share things that move your heart in good and hard ways.
Study the Bible. Nothing binds women closer than diving into God’s Word together.
Diving deeper is worth all of the effort – the sticky wet suit that’s far from flattering, the heavy tanks of air, the risk of seaweed and surge and sharks. And the deeper you dare to go, the more you’ll experience the pleasures of God’s world, alongside a true friend.”
I have to agree with the author. I’ve had many run-ins with ’seaweed’ and ’surge’ and ’sharks,’ but the friendship of a ‘heart friend’ is more than worth it.
